I survived!

The crazy weekend is over! I actually had some really good shifts in ICU; i really work well with the staff there, and it was actually pretty quiet in the mornings. We went 36 hours without admitting anyone into the ICU, which is apparantly a record-breaking amount of time. But when i was alone at the desk, we admitted 3 people!! Whenever we admit a new patient, things get really exciting really fast. You've got to order new tests, do new paperwork, call more doctors for more consults, co-ordinate alot of important things. So with three simultaneous admissions, it was a little crazy. Plus this guy comes up to my desk and is like "Can you please call a code blue for the CT scanner?" (Code blue is a medical emergency, usually cardiac arrest, or someone going unresponsive for some unknown reason.) Normally people call the switchboard, which then calls me, so the ICU outreach team can RUN and respond to the code with the crash cart and doctors. So this time I call the code, and everyone runs, and it was generally an exciting time.

In other news, you know you've been watching alot of Scrubs when you start to have this inner monologue going. So this blog is my inner monologue. It was a strange week, but i'm really at peace with it. I feel like i have a hundred doors ahead of me, a hundred choices to make, but not right now. I feel like everything that happens to me now critically impacts my future. Here's some examples:

Last fall i heard that the perioperative program would be shutting down. It's the course i'll need to take to become an O.R. nurse, if that's the pathway i'd want to go. So the termination of that program was a door closing for me. Now it's starting up again, running a few times every year, because there's such a shortage of O.R. nurses. Door opens again, and looks tempting. I know alot about the O.R., the staff, the flow, some of the politics, some of the opportunities. Being an O.R. nurse would also still get me into the missions field, as part of my 5 year plan as well... some would argue that O.R. nurses are more sought after than normal nurses, because of their specialized skills. Hmm... so that door is still open.

Then i learned that next November, the ICU is considering hiring grad nurses. A grad nurse is a nursing student who has finished third year nursing and has taken nursing 406, which is an intense clinical practicum. Grad nurses get ~$22/hour, and take on responsibilities very close to what an actual RN could do. In the ICU, that would mean 3 months of orientation and 3 months of shadowing a nurse directly. WOW. That would be so cool. and ICU nurses are amazing; the skills they have, the way they work with families and doctors and the patient, how they're so aware of everything that's going on with their patient and what needs to be done to fix what's wrong...i have mad respect for them. And again, i have experience in the ICU; i have my foot in the door, because the whole ICU has seen my work ethic, and they would know what to expect from me. Another door open. Getting into U of C nursing first try; that was an open door, and i couldn't be happier with where i am.

This whole door thing works for relationships too. Like us not getting a pastor yet...door closed!!! I don't like closing doors, for fear of what i could be missing. I'm trying to give my trust over to God, to allow Him to open or close doors for me. And i need Him to help me make these decisions, of which doors to walk through. Of course, i know myself, and i know how to watch out for red flags. Some of you may know the red flags that i speak of, and how too many of them are just a clear indicator to end something before it even begins. I can't be wooed by puppy dogs and milkshakes, and if you cause my co-workers to doubt me or my character, things will not go well between us. Someone who barely knows me bluntly stated "Hayley, you can do so much better". Just stop now, before things get anymore awkward. door closed!

But not all doors closing mean a slamming door. Sometimes doors need to be closed gently, to preserve friendship on both sides. Like one of those cool half doors that most awesome Baptist Church Nurseries have so the little munchkins can't escape. Sometimes between two people, half a door needs to be closed, to re-established the friendship. It looks a little strange, but you can still see eachother, be friends, and be a part of eachothers' lives. It's not a door slamming shut, but it's also not using a door stopper to keep the door, and hope, open. The door isn't locked, but for now it's right that it's closed.

Next week, on the Poor Metaphors Channel, we'll look at revolving doors, doors made out of glass, and doors that you need to push buttons to go through.

LOL, so my last bit of news, apparantly i'm getting married! Just kidding, for now. The picture at the top is of the bouquet of flowers i caught at a co-workers wedding. It was a beautiful catch, i jumped up and caught it with both arms above my head! And subsequently turned bright red. But they're my symbol of hope. I'm not supersticious (i obviously can't even spell it), but it's a nice thought, right?

See you later, Alligator

Work called this morning.
"Good Morning Hayley, you know how you're working in the ICU from 3pm to 7pm on Friday and Saturday?"
"Yeah..."
"How would you like to come in from 7am to 7pm for both shifts instead?"
"Um..."
"They'll pay you overtime"
"Sign me up!"

So according to my calculations, starting at 3pm on July 27th, i will work 52 of the subsequent 96 God-given hours. 8 of those 52 hours will be blessed overtime, which i am ecstatic about.

On the plus side, i've spent my day off watching probably 3 hours of Scrubs, a coupla hours doing yoga for the first time with Andrea, Marisa and Stacey, 2.5 hours of talking on the phone withRyan while watching a cool lightning storm, AND, most importantly, the first >6 hour sleep i've had in a long time, due to this blasted heat wave.

Time is precious. and given that 36 of these hours will be pulled in the ICU, i'll likely learn how precious time is.

Next Monday Night...anyone willing to buy me a stiff drink if i make it through? I'm thinking the Earls Margarita Monday again.

One leap forward...one step backwards.

So. Last week i got invited to the wedding of one of our OR educators. She's a beautiful nurse who has recently taken over the job of teaching the perioperative program (the course you need to take to become an OR nurse.) I was invited to go as the date of the other educator, Cal. Nice guy, we get along really well, and i had a really good time! The wedding was yesterday, in the intense dry heat of July in Calgary. And it was only slightly awkward...someone told Cal i was 22, when i am clearly 19. And someone also told me Cal has a thing for me, but i think that was just a rumor...and he's definitely eight years older than i am. And if i decide to be an OR nurse, Cal would be my teacher. How many ways can you spell awkward? But again, i had a blast, the other OR nurses were surprized but happy to see me there, and one of the doctors kept trying to buy me drinks. Fortunatly my Irish blood held true, and i didn't make a fool of myself. Funny thing though, the guy at our table, Ben, tried to guess my age, and he came up with 24 or 25!! So that was my leap forward, being seen as mature and beautiful in the eyes of my co-workers.

But the sad part came this morning. It was announced that our pastoral candidate has declined taking the role of our pastor. It just sucks...for those of you who don't know, my home church, which i love very much, has been pastor-less for the past 3 years. First we had a sort of "loaner pastor" from the Nazarene denomination that we were sort of a part of. But then we gave up with having a denomination, so they took him back, and we've been kind of floating around since then, with guest speakers and the awesome Dan Schuster speaking more than often. But for the first time we thought we had it together. This awesome pastor had already sold his house in Winnipeg and had preached at our Church and we'd had a picnic with him and his family and it just felt right. And i was excited to have a solid pastor. But no. It was not to be, and we are without again.

I know God has a shepherd in mind for His followers at Grace Community. We have a spirit of perseverance, i mean, we haven't had a pastor in 3 years. I thought my wait was over.

a little bit of Tomfoolery never hurt anyone...

So, i start this post off on a high note:

I have the coolest friends ever.

I could brag about them for quite awhile. And i had an awesome week, largely because of them. First was Margarita Monday with Shandell, Drew, Melissa, Trevor, Andrea, Sharon and Stu. And it was fun because of the people there, NOT because of the mango-raspberry margaritas on special! Shan and i spoke our own language, (nostalgia with a large proportion of nursing lingo) and we all compared/contrasted work stressors and funny work stories. Then Tuesday Barbara was in town, and we hooked up for amazing lunch, then lunch with Shandell, Sharon, Shannon and Sarah downtown (yeah, felt a little outnumbered...)
And lunch with Jarid on Friday!
Then tonite after work, a surprize rendezvous with Cyler and Trevor and Melissa and Andrea, which was a ridiculous blast.
I sincerely pray that i never lose the ability to laugh at myself, or to lose myself in the moment. Location doesn't matter, (so long as it's reasonably safe), the availability of beverages of a recreational nature does not matter, just the company, and our willingness to just be goofy, if the situation calls for it. I love being with people who accept my giddy, random deviations from reality, whether it be squealing "Deli-man-joo!!!" and pulling Shandell over to the cream puff station, or playing shopping cart chicken in a parking lot. I love being with people who embrace and add to my need to get away from the seriousness of the OR/ICU.

I've seen some brutal things this summer, seen that people can be stupid, and malicious. I know i've gotten just a taste of mankind's propensity for evil, and that's left a slightly bitter taste in my mouth. But to the people who add so much to my life, you've made this summer that much sweeter.

Intense Intensive Care

An update at last...
So Intensive Care is Intense. Go figure! But it's making me see things differently, yet again. I get to hear things before they make the news. As such, there are things i can't post in a blog. But everyone has a story. I recognize family members who are at the bedside of there seriously ill loved ones, who are blearly eyed at 2am getting coffee from the garden deli, just like me.
I've been working more than full time for the past two weeks...90 hours split between the ICU and the OR, and its been a madhouse in both places. You'd think we'd be getting the attractive cowboys who've been trampled by 4000 pound animals. But no, we get the people who have pounded back indeterminate amounts of alcohol and have tried something stupid. I'm with a few of my friends on this one, Stampede has become a stupid excuse to get trashed. Albeit, i see the results of the people who go overboard, and they're thankfully not the majority. But from my perspective, i've gotten to see the HUGE crunch on the health care system that everyone anticipates this time of year...the ICU was literally overflowing, with 5 patients competing for one bed...sickest one "wins". OR was running 4 rooms when we usually run three. Props go out to the supernurses of the OR, especially the ones who worked from 7am until 10pm, that's just insane. I've pulled my share of insanity too, i worked 8 hours in the OR, then walked down the hall to pull 4 hours of overtime in the ICU. On the plus side, that overtime may have just paid for one of my textbooks next year!
I value my friends more than ever these days, especially for allowing me to vent on them. My jobs are stressfull, but that doesn't mean i'm the only one stressed out right now.
And funny thing, God's teaching me things here too, through weird ways and teachers. More about that later.

Quote of the Day...

if "conveying a false impression of the truth" is a good definition for lying, and lying is a sin, then how do all those preachers justify wearing toupees?
- Jason Boyett, author of "Pocket Guide to the Bible", my new favorite and highly recommended summer read

Canada Day Festivities

So the above is a picture from my Canada Day party, shortly after midnight, as we were having a dance party in my family room! It was incredible amounts of fun! Unfortunatly i didn't get any pictures beforehand, when more people were around, but we ate marvelous beef on a bun and played Hoopla and Mafia and watched the fireworks, and it was just a genuinely good time!

Church was good on Sunday too, despite my fatigue from the previous night. And i had coffee with a friend from Church, who was also at the Canada day party. He had just met most of my friends, and commented on how great my friends seem. They don't just seem great, i realized, they really are great! And i'm truly thankful for all my friends, including people who have left for the summer, and people who are leaving in September. i'm choosing not to freak out over change, but just to roll with it, and to use it as incentive to spend as much quality time with people as i can!

I really needed this Canada day party to just remind myself that life is good. I needed a short escape from the OR and the ICU, where to a certain extent it is doom and gloom. I don't want to rant about it here, it probably woudn't be professional of me either. And i do love my job(s). I've just been living the life of extremes this summer, i guess you could say. Extreme hard work with my spring course and work, Extreme relaxation and affluence in California, Extreme sleep depravation and stress in the ICU, and extreme fun on Canada day! When you're at one end of the spectrum, you can really appreciate the other.

Thanks for a wonderful Canada Day everyone, and i leave you with this ominous hint towards the future...

Bastille Day is less than two weeks away...